2 Corinthians (More Letters)

This book is just another fucking letter that Paul sent to the church in Corinth. But this one is even less fun to read, so I’m going to super skim it.

Paul starts out saying that he and some other guys went over to Asia to tell everyone what Jesus had said, and they were going to kill him. But they didn’t. 

Then he goes on to say in the most longwinded way possible that he had meant to return to Corinth a second time and then decided against it, because they were sinning too much. He lets them know that he’s forgiven them, but only to get back at Satan. Somehow.

He rambles on about how he traveled to Troas and never saw his friend Titus. So that’s a bummer. Then he makes a bold statement that he doesn’t preach for money, only for the joy of speaking for god. He said this to the very same people he demanded money from in the last letter. 

Then he talks about how great this current age is, where god’s way more laid back and actually makes people happy instead of terrified. Also, apparently god gave us all gifts and we’re supposed to keep them in clay jars. And everyone needs to focus on heaven and god and shit. Instead of their own shitty lives.

He talks for a while about how reconciliation is important and then lists off all the shitty things that christians have had to deal with in their short time as a religion. A lot of which he caused back in the day,

Then he refers to unbelievers and unclean. Much like ham and shellfish used to be until Peter had a dream that told him it was okay all of a sudden. 

He half-apologizes to everyone for his rebuke about their sexiness as a church, but then kind of recants and says he’s happy everyone repented for their horrible crimes of having men cover their heads while praying and all the other pedantic shit he was complaining about in 1st Corinthians. 

After that, he strongly encourages everyone to give as much of their assets to the church as they possibly can, because of course he does. Then he promised to send his friend Titus down to Corinth to help everyone out. Titus, the same guy who stood him up in Troas. 

He suggests that people give money to the poor. Which is noble of him. Then he defends himself preemptively. Then he tells them to watch out for false prophets that will lead them astray. Apparently, they’ll look and talk just like him, but they’ll ask for money. He’ll ask for money sometimes, too. I’m not sure what his advice was on how to discern the good ones from the bad ones.. 

He brags about his own personal suffering for a while. He says, “I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again.” It actually goes on a lot longer, with him talking about very specific times and very specific beatings that he received. Also, apparently, he had to escape from Damascus in a laundry basket. 

He ends by telling them he plans to come back and this time doesn’t need any money, to stay clear of all the fun adult stuff in life, warns everyone who doesn’t believe that he’s the new voice of Jesus, and then says goodbye.