Amos was a shepherd in the time of Jeroboam and Uzziah and he apparently saw a vision and someone decided it needed to be written down.
This was two years before the earthquake. I don’t know what earthquake they’re talking about. That’s just what it says.
God says, “I’m going to fuck up everyone around Israel! If Damascus had only sinned three or four times, I wouldn’t be fucking with them. But they apparently sinned enough, so I’m going to fuck them up. I’m going to burn down the house of Hazael and consume the fortress of Ben-Hadad. I’m going to kill the king and his scepter holder because fuck that guy.”
“The same goes for Gaza. They should’ve kept to only three or four sins. But they didn’t. So, I’m going to fuck up Gaza so hard! Also, Tyre, Edom, Ammon, Moab, Judah, and Israel.”
He basically said the same thing for all of these, I just didn’t feel like repeating it.
The god basically said, “I’ve been hearing a lot through the grape vine that you guys have been sinning your asses off. I’m going to kill a bunch of you and throw the rest into exile. So fuck you. I think I’ve been pretty patient. I have mass slaughtered you guys in quite some time. Yet you still keep cheating on my with other gods. I’m going to fuck your shit right up.”
Amos then pleads with the jewish people to cut their shit out and go back to the hundreds of very specific laws that god gave them. Then he agrees with god for a while, “You trample on the poor and force them to feed you, therefore you have large stone mansions. God’s fucking those up. You oppress the righteous and take bribes over justice. Your courts are unfair to the poor, so god’s gonna fuck you up. If only you would just do good things instead of evil, then it wouldn’t even be a fucking issue.”
I can’t think of living in a society where the poor are unjustly represented in labor and in court. This place must’ve been hell…
God also said he was sick of people killing animals for him, because they were doing it half heartedly. He said, “I fucking hate and despise your assemblies. Even though you bring me burning dead animals, I don’t want em. Fuck you. Also fuck your harp music. It sucks and I’m tired of listening to it.”
God also said, “I fucking hate the house of Jacob. I will fucking ruin everything involved with it.”
So after all this was written down, this priest named Amaziah, decided that Amos needed to go. So he told Jeroboam that Amos was plotting against him. Only because Amos said, “Jeroboam is going to get murdered with a fucking sword and this whole country is going to fall apart and go into exile.” I have no idea where Amaziah got such a crazy idea…
So Amaziah told Amos the get the fuck out and stop prophesying against Israel. Amos just replied, “Hey man. I was just a fucking fig farmer. Earlier it said ‘Shepherd’ He, apparently, changed jobs mid-prophesy. I didn’t want any of this. But since you just told me to stop prophesying, your wife is going to end up a fucking streetwalker, 100% of your kids are going to get murdered, all of your land is going to be taken by other people, and you’re going to die in a foreign country with different customs. Israel is going to be fucked up and go into exile. Don’t try and tell me not to say it.”
Then god showed Amos some fruit. And Amos said, “Hey look! A basket of ripe fruit!” God said, “Yeah, This ripe delicious fruit is a metaphor. Because the time is ripe for Israel! I will spare them no longer! Let them all get murdered and raped! I hate them I hate them I hate them.”
So sure enough. That happened. But Amos closed by mentioning that god will allow Israel to exist again, some other time.
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